At the start of 2020, I was training for Race to the Castle, a 100km race along the coast of Northumberland, finishing at Bamburgh Castle. I was excited and terrified in equal measure, but training was underway. At the beginning of March, I completed a 20 mile race at Oulton Park – which can only be described as “horrendous“. I still shudder at the memory – those are grimaces not smiles!

And then came the pandemic – and everything was put on hold. The race was cancelled, and we stayed home. Time passed. I didn’t run as often or as far.

I took part in quite a few virtual events, rode my exercise bike, met up with the allowed number of running friends for the occasional Sunday run. did lots of (not) parkruns on Saturday morning, then back to parkrun when we re-started. But no races, no big running adventures on the horizon.

I got close a couple of times but not close enough, even though I have been parkrunning most weeks and running with the Potters Trotters. Perhaps still haunted by Oulton Park? Perhaps lacking in motivation and fitness? Perhaps busy getting settled in a new job? Perhaps enjoying Sunday mornings with the Everyman Crossword in the Observer? Perhaps just feeling my age?

And after a while, the habit was gone and I wasn’t really missing racing at all.

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Fast forward to August 2023. There is a race on the horizon – the Oakamoor Cross Country event organised by Cheadle Running Club. I’ve taken part or spectated several times. It is a great event and a lovely location – the route covers part of the Churnet Valley walking trails and the woodlands of Dimmingsdale.

It’s a great place on our doorstep for a weekend walk – or to watch some cricket – the start of the race is Oakamoor Cricket club.

Was the time right to race again? Did I really want to take part?

After a week of rain, it was forecast to be dry but not too hot, so that was a positive sign. It would be a chance to catch up with people from different running clubs not seen for a while. There are always good refreshments afterwards. Some club mates from Potters Trotters were taking part too.

A commitment made, I was doing a race.

And so on Wednesday afternoon, I dug out my race kit, found my trail shoes (I’m not sure where or when that mud is from) and headed off to Oakamoor (thanks to Jackie for the lift).

Getting registered, chatting with other runners (lovely to see Sue and Ken), a quick warm-up, listening to the pre-race brief – back into the familiar routine. And then it was actually time to the “race” part.

My goal to run it all.

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Ready, steady, go!

Once out of the cricket ground, the route goes along the old railway trail towards Dimmingsdale. It is tree-lined and I can see all the other runners heading off into the distance. I know my pace will be slower than before, but I am determined to keep running.

Running along on my own, I ams transported back to the woodland section of my last big running adventure – a 50k route from Marlow to Windsor in 2019. I loved that section of the ultra – I think you can tell from my smile in this photo.

I remember how much I love running along trails. Even though this is a much shorter distance, I remember

After a mile along the old railway line, the route goes over a bridge, past the Ramblers Retreat and takes a detour into the Dimmingsdale Forest. I remember how hard going up and over bridges can be – another flashback, this time to the canal section of the Millennium Way completed in 2016, where every bridge felt like a mountain.

The runners are spread out now – just a couple in view ahead of me, a couple behind – and then the route starts to climb – an uphill mile into the woods. I am tempted to stop and take a photo, but know I will lose all momentum and not be able to start running again.

So I keep going and soon, the lead women runners coming back down the hill and on their way back to the finish. I distract myself trying to work out which team has most runners in the top 10, offer encouragement to Beth and Jen as they go flying past.

But I keep running, up and up.

And then I reach the high point of the route, cross over the river and head back down. The terrain is more challenging now – a muddy, section right by the river bank. Lots of tree routes to avoid. Trying not to slip into the water. Trying to keep running. The leaders in the men’s race start to catch up and then overtake, I can hear lots more footsteps behind me. Offering and receiving more words of encouragement or a thumbs up,

Back over the river, with lots of encouragement from the marshal Ruth – great to see a friendly and familiar face.

And then it was back the way I had come, over the bridge and back to Oakamoor along the old railway line. Another flashback, this time to the D33 in Aberdeen, where running an out and back ultra had mental challenges far tougher than the physical.

Now, just a mile to go and that last mile always seems to last forever. The path runs along the back of the cricket ground so you can see your destination, but you don’t seem to get any closer – just like Julie and I making our way to Winchester Cathedral at the end of Race to the King – running what felt like nine sides of a square. But knowing we would get there.

And so it proved. Suddenly, I’m going round the last corner, through the car park and down towards the finish funnel. Cheered in by Gill and Paul – thanks for your support and the photos – then cheering in the next finishers.

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I did it, and I enjoyed it, perhaps enjoying the post-race chatting and cake even more than the race itself.

But baby steps.

I’m not quite sure I’m ready to take on the training for another ultra just yet, but for a brief moment on Wednesday evening, I was tempted. I’ve seen a couple advertised in Wales next year that look interesting.

You never know!

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50 for 50 #5: 50 posts for my 50th birthday to be posted before I’m 51.